Tears filled my eyes as we said our good-byes. Leaving Canada was always hard for me. I hated crying when people were around; it proved that I wasn’t brave. I gave my grandmother a hug and kissed her on the cheek. She held me two seconds more than I needed. I pulled away, hoping that my watery eyes hadn’t betrayed me and I was still in control of them. Nanny held her arms out to me again asking for another hug, but I told her I needed to get going.
“I might not see you again, this might be the last time I see you Ranya”, she said to me. My face reddened, my eyebrows pushed down, my lips felt heavy. Barely able to get the words out of my mouth, I said, “I know you will be here, I am going to see you next summer”. A tear strolled down my face. I had never believed that she was sick. Even after my mom had told me that she had been diagnosed with cancer. Nanny had had her large intestines removed and in its place was a bag attached to her by a tube.
December 20th, Nanny is getting worse and is in the hospital. She started chemotherapy; slowly losing hair. Christmas is just five days away and Dalia’s birthday just two. Nobody is much in the celebrating mood except for Dalia. She is turning nine and wants a big party. My dad is on a business trip, so it’s up to me and my mom to organize everything.
Dalia’s birthday party was on the night of December 22. Balloons flying everywhere, kids screaming and chasing each other, the sound of laughter sweetening the air; nothing could have gone wrong. And best of all, an honest smile on Dalia’s face. She blew her candles out, her happiness showing through her sparkling eyes; but she forgot to make her wish…
Next morning we awake to the smell of freshly baked Christmas cookies mixed with the aroma of cinnamon and apples. Presents covering the floor and wrapping paper lying in a pile. Dalia was eating cookie dough, Hisham watching The Grinch, and I was in the kitchen rolling the dough, proudly helping my mom make the cookies. Then the phone rang…
“Hello? Yes...” I heard my mom saying into the speaker. Her face suddenly went pale. As she thanked the person on the other end of the line and put the phone down, she turns to me. A light, sad smile crosses her face, eyes big and warming, she calmly says, “Nanny is in a better place now”. My heart dropped. A heavy something clogged my throat. All the fun that I had had yesterday left my mind. I began to cry, the sadness numbing my limbs.
Nothing else running through my mind but, I should have held on to you longer, I should have listened.
Bright Red Rose
Healthy and Fine
Becomes Wilting Red Rose
In A Short Period of Time
Hold onto That Rose
And Treasure It Deep
Forever My Rose
I Want To Keep
Dedicated to Edith Stammer, Forever shall I love.
