Relationships - Breath, Eyes, Memory

In the novel Breath, Eyes, Memory, Edwidge Danticat describes different relationships in which the characters encounter conflicts with each other. The characters respond in different ways to the conflicts they have. Some of the relationships include: Sophie and Tante Attie, Sophie and Martine, Sophie and Joseph. The characters' relationships vary throughout the novel. Sometimes they have fun and are happy while other times it is the opposite. Edwidge Danticat shows the reader the complexity of Sophie's relationships with others and how it defines who she is.

Sophie grows without her biological mother, but she always had someone beside her. Her Tante Attie is her best friend and acts as her mother. Sophie, although bitter with her mother for abandoning her, still longs to be with her. When Sophie has the opportunity to go to her mother in New York, she feels guilty and hurt about leaving Tante Attie, and confused about going to live with her mother who is a complete stranger to her. Additionally, Sophie has to deal with learning a new language, new food, new school, and making friends. Sophie grows up with trust and love from her aunt, and she finds it difficult to trust her mother. They had a difficult time saying good-bye when Sophie left. It devastates them both. It's highly unlikely that Tante Attie would have tested Sophie as her mother does. In this way had Sophie stayed with Tante Attie, she would have possibly grown into a healthy young woman with out so many problems.

Sophie and her mother do not blend well. They don't talk about things like mothers and daughters often do. Martine does not know how to be a mother, and she herself is angry and emotionally disturbed due to her own past. Sophie's mother works hard to get Sophie the education she needs and therefore she feels that she is in control of every aspect of Sophie's life. She promises Sophie that when she reaches the age of eighteen, she would be allowed to be in love. When Sophie turns eighteen, her mother breaks her promise and does not allow her to be in love. This is when she began "testing". She tests Sophie to see if she is still pure and whole. This makes Sophie despise her mom, so she runs away with her love, Joseph and gets married immediately. Sophie's mother does not provide love in an emotional way. She is also a hypocrite because she allows herself to be in a relationship with Mark yet condemns Sophie's relationship with Joseph.

Because of many traumatic events in Sophie's childhood, she has problems in her marriage. Sophie may have experienced a more normal marriage had she taken therapy before hand. Martine makes Sophie feel guilty for wanting love and marriage – normal human desires. The testing is what causes most of her problems though. The testing makes Sophie feel disgusted about herself: her body image, her ability to trust or to be trusted. Ultimately it causes her physical pain and depression which nearly destroys her marriage and family. Joseph, despite all these things, still loves her and takes care of her and her daughter, Bridgette.

Sophie evolves throughout the novel. She becomes more at peace with her past, her mother, and the testing. Tradition affected the relationships: a daughter should be with her mother, a daughter should be tested for purity, and in her family's case, a woman should remain at home with her mother and feel guilty for leaving and loving. Sophie had to overcome all these things in order to be happy and healthy. It was necessary for her to face and deal with her family's negative traditions so that she could prevent passing it on to her daughter. In the end she succeeded and she still loves her family and culture.